Tom Hanks movies and other musings...

Hot Topic:

Tonight I have to stay up late because tomorrow night I am taking the graveyard shift, ten pm to eight am, at my work to cover for someone because I need the hours. Hopefully I will spend all day tomorrow sleeping, then head over to Young Life's area leadership meeting, then go right to work. I plan on bringing movies, my Christmas stockings I'm sewing (almost done with Lexi's YAY!) maybe my Arabic stuff, and of course I'll be drinking lots of coffee. There's really nothing to working overnights, just checking on any in-house kids every 15 min, pulling follow-up files, and stuff like that. Plus, dealing with the police in case any kids are brought in :) Then in the morning when I get off work I am going to try my very hardest to go to Dani's cheer practice so I can do some contact work for YL and also see the beginnings of their competition routine :)

Anyways, the hot topic I want to write about is porn. I know people watch porn. A lot of people do, in fact. When I was in England we stumbled into a bookstore that turned into a porn shop once you got downstairs and let me tell you, I know very little about American porn but European porn is undoubtedly ten times even raunchier if possible. I was super uncomfortable and left because I was so creeped out by the men picking out their DVDs. I found myself wondering if their wives and children knew where they were, or if they were just lonely old men, or if they would buy the things in a plain brown paper bag and then go home, hiding it, acting like they were never there.

I know some couples watch porn together or are ok with their signficant others watching porn. For me and my relationship, however, porn is out of the question. I think it's a personal decision for every person and couple, it's like, some couples are OK with one person doing drugs recreationally or drinking and driving home from a party or occasionally cheating on them-- if they are OK with that, fine, but for me those things aren't OK.

I took a Gender and Sexuality in the Bible seminar last year that was a wonderful class. However, one article that we read had a feminist saying that pornography actually empowered the female by letting her express her body. I completely disagreed with the writer. To me, the world of pornography is full of drugs, STDs, people using a career that may haunt them forever just until they can make it in some other field, and so on. The themes of pornography are often very disturbing and perverted, in my opinion. Also, why would someone who is in a loving and committed relationship, whether a sexual one or not, need to watch strangers having sex (in a completely unrealistic manner, I might add) just for their own gratification? It's a way to allow voyerism, people can become addicted to it, and I just don't think it's healthy to have in any relationship I am in.

I would never ever sit down and watch porn. I would hope that my partner respects not only me but women and the act of sex itself enough to not watch porn. It degrades the act and the sexuality of a person, in my mind. To me sex is a way of expressing deep feelings and committment (hence me waiting to have it until I'm married) and watching porn reduces that ideal.

I've had people tell me it's OK because at least it means the person isn't actively cheating. But I think that people have applied to strict of a definition on that word. Think of how the word "cheating" is used in other areas. You cheat on a test. You cheat a person out of something. Cheating on a test or in schoolwork is misrepresenting yourself because you are using someone else's work or help in some other way, so it is not a true representation of your abilities as is required. Cheating someone out of something means that you misrepresent yourself in some way for your own gain. Cheating on a board game or any other game usually means a sneaky or blatant disregard for rules.

So to me, porn could be cheating. If my relationship follows a set of ideals or principles, and porn is not OK'd by it, then that person who is watching the porn could be considering cheating. If your with someone who has made it abundantly clear to you that porn is not an option for them but they watch it anyways, then that is cheating because they misrepresent themself, and so on. Now I wouldn't walk up to my significant other and say YOU'RE A CHEATER WE'RE OVER if I found out they watched porn, but I'm just saying, what is OK in a relationship and what is considered a betrayal all depends on the couple and what the couple has already agreed on as being their ideals they are striving for.

I don't think if I or anyone is in a healthy relationship they or their SO should have the urge to look at people having sex, especially if that is not an OK thing in the relationship. I don't think it empowers women because they are treating their body like instruments just like we have been degraded to being for thousands of years, sex instruments of no other value. And, from a Christian standpoint, and as someone that has been waiting all of her life to save herself for her husband, I don't think that someone who is living in the mentality that I am should ever be OK with their partner "using" such resources.

Anyways, those are my thoughts on porn. You can agree or disagree, I'm not judging anyone that does like porn or watch it, I just feel the need to explain why I specifcally don't find it OK in my own relationship. Plus, it's my blog so I can say whatever I want :)

Other topics I'd love to talk about in the future....

Legalizing certain drugs
Corporal punishment
Abortion vs. Adoption
Political slander
Religious fundamentalism (ok, you got me, I could talk about ANYTHING having to do with religion!)
And pretty much a ton of other stuff. I'm very opinionated, but I am not one to ever try to make someone think the way I do (because you will never convince me to think the way YOU do, so why would I bother?) so usually I keep my mouth shut, but since I have a blog maybe I can explain myself a little :)