How did I end up here?

I do have something in depth to say, someday when I have time, but for now I just thought:

Do you ever wonder, out of the blue, how did I end up HERE?

How did I end up here, with this major, pursuing this?

With this guy instead of the other ones?

Going there or doing this?

When did some people stop being important to me and why did it only matter to me and hurt when I became unimportant to them?

I am going in the right direction?

Is it normal to wish I had strayed the path a little, but ultimately ended up here all the same?

Is there time to go another way or at least is it OK to think about it while I keep going ahead?

Am I always going to need some people's approval?

If I stay caring will eventually my relationship with some people come back to life?

Are my memories of my time with people always going to stay this fresh? What if they start to fade? How can I hang on to them?

Do you ever go about daily life and suddenly BAM! Random memory that you wish you held on to more?

Example: I was watching a movie the other day and all of a sudden a memory came: the first time a guy held my hand during a movie. BIG drama in my life, right? The life of a junior high schooler. It got all around school that I held hands with this guy. Then we had a "big talk" and decided we were better off friends. We stayed best friends for years. Now, we don't talk at all. My mom can tell me the song she danced to with a certain boy in seventh grade. Am I going to be able to remember random things that make me smile or frown in the future?

Do you ever think that maybe you have this blog because you are hoping the right people stumble upon it some day because it's less scary than just talking to them for real?